Most parents would want their kids to excel, and others even do everything just for their kids to get awards, certificates, medals, etc.  But me, I don’t want that.

There are just so many thoughts that ran inside my head while we were on our way home.  As usual, as a backrider, I don’t have anything to do but to wave and signal when we have to turn or change lanes (as some vehicles DO ignore the light signal).  So I as random thought, I don’t want Ria to excel.  I want her to LEARN and ENJOY.

I would not pressure her to study well and give me A’s every end of the quarter.  But I would be happy if she does.  Instead, I want her to learn and enjoy what life has to offer.  You see, not every laude will land on their dream jobs or to the jobs they are expected to have.  In this life, you don’t need those medals or certificates to be really successful.  You have to practice what you have learned both in school and in your everyday life.  And as what my sorority taught me, academic excellence is not limited in the four corners of the classroom.  It is when you practice what you have learned.  Go out and explore the world and learn from your real teachers inside your real classroom.

Not all kids who excel really learn.  Some of them are good in memorization but not good in application.  Some teachers even say that their notorious students end up in good jobs and become successful.

As for Ria, I want her to explore things…to know what she really wants.  I want her to get a degree that she can stand for the rest of her life.  Talent, passion, they are not the same as your dream (in most cases).  I remember, when I was a child, I told my mom I want to study fine arts in college.  Her answer was unforgettable.  She told me that I will have to sell my paintings for me to have money (and that time, multimedia is not yet popular).  But I was not discouraged to do what I really want.  My parents saw me draw, paint, etc.  They saw me do my passion…play piano and guitar and even bought me a violin and gave me money to enroll for violin lessons.  In high school, they also bought me art materials (oil paint, poster paint, different pencils)  In 2007, when something dreadful happened, my mom asked me if I want to pursue music or fine arts.  I said no, because I’m not sure if I’ll have a better future if I have a degree in those fields.  I’m not good in painting or drawing so how can I be competitive?   So I continued with my chosen degree with side dishes of my passion.  And I’m happy.  I can still play piano or guitar or draw and I have my job.

Aside from all of these, I want my child to learn how to stand up when she falls.  Some of the honor students used to be on top and some of them are discouraged to stand up and try again.  But successful people, especially those who were not honor students, reached their success because they know how to deal with the situation and learn from their experience.  So the next time they try again, they are better.

I want Ria to have the right decisions.  I told my husband not to influence her with what he wants her to be.  I want her to decide for herself, we’ll just figure out how we’ll make her logical (given that she’s my child and half of her personality came from me).  Of course, we’ll guide her but we’ll not force her.  I want her to have the right character so she’ll know how to deal with things (heartbreak, failures, success, whatever).