This is the story of my life…well, not exactly my whole life.

I’m not sure if I was a happy-go-lucky person, or still am.  I don’t know.  When I stepped into college, I had friends..well, they were my blocmates.  I took BS Physics because of my mom.  Part of me wants to be like her (and yes, it’s still there).  During my first year in college, I immediately joined Youth for Christ and Math Physics Society and I managed to pass all my subjects.  On my second year, I joined a sorority, Sigma Delta Pi and became an activist.  My circle got bigger and bigger.  I met a lot of people.  But for some personal reasons, I left my first two organizations.  I was active in extra curricular activities.  I was able to pass my subjects, except for one memorable subject…advanced integral calculus.  That was also my reason why I asked my parents if I can change my course so I’ll have a better chance of graduating.

And so, on my fourth year, I shifted to Economics and Political Science.  I managed to finish my college in 6 and a half years (and yes, that was too long).  My college can be summarized with these words:  studies, bar, parties, ECAs and rallies.  I had a kidney problem in college but I didn’t mind.  Happy-go-lucky?.I’m still not sure.

Anyway, so I went back to Manila after college.  My first job experience was in eTelecare, where I met Dann.  And so, our life was work, shot after shift or gala after shift.  Whenever I receive an invitation to somewhere from my college friends, brods & sisses or colleagues, I was present most of the time.  I have all the time in my life.  No but’s, no if’s.

And, on February 16, 2010, my life turned 360 degrees.  I discovered I was pregnant (after going to series of inuman sessions). So I stopped drinking because I know it’s not good for the baby.  Suddenly, I said to myself I won’t drink anymore because I want to remain healthy…not for me, but for my baby.  I was thinking (and still thinking), if I die, Dann and Ria will suffer.  So I have to take care of myself.  And now, I’m completely sober for more than 3 years now.  No more alcohol.

When I was still single, I save some money.  Now, I still do but this time, I’m serious about it. I work because of my family, for Ria’s present and future needs.  We save for Ria’s schooling.  I want to continue earning because that’s the only way that I can assure her future.  All my extra time is devoted to Ria and Dann because I want to cover the lost time when I work.  But on weekends, I also give some time for myself.  I sleep almost the whole morning (hehe)..

Now, I cannot go to some invitations from my friends.  First, I want to save some money for Ria and second I want to spend time with her.  My life really changed when Ria arrived.  I suddenly have a purpose in life.  I want to live longer than what God can give me because I want to see her grow up and I want to be there in her every milestone and achievement.  I work hard because of her.  I want to give her what she needs and deserves.  This is the reason why I don’t want to have another child right now.  I know that financially we cannot afford to have another one.  But if God wants it, thy will be done.

By choice, I want to have another child if we are already capable of providing their needs.  I just don’t want them to suffer.  Like what I said to my colleague, walang kasalanan ang bata para maghirap.  But if mapaglaro ang tadhana, we just have to give them what they need, whatever it takes. 🙂 Sabi nga ni Dann, “baka kaya ka binigla ni God na bigyan ng anak, kasi iniisip mo na hindi mo kaya.”

It’s different if you’re already a parent.  You become more serious in life.  I’m still having fun, but I’m now forward-looking.  Everything that I do is for the future.  Unlike before, I just live for “now”…I just think about myself.  As for Ria, I didn’t see her coming but so far, so good.  And I hope it stays the same.

My life has a purpose now.  That is, to live for my family (including my parents).  And I thank my parents for continuously guiding me on how to be a mother.

Was I a happy-go-lucky person? I guess not.  I just enjoyed my life para sawa na ko pag nagkaron ako ng anak 🙂