So I am writing this frw hours before we go to the hospital. Change of plan, we’re going to deliver Baby Aeda tomorrow morning.

After my ultrasound a while ago, I was advised by my OB that baby is ready and I can deliver the soonest because of the threat of Covid-19. So I talked to hubby and we agreed that instead of doing it on the 4th, we’ll do it tomorrow. So OB contacted the delivery room to schedule us. 7am it is. Fasting started at 11pm tonight.

I am feeling different emotions right now. Of course I am happy that we’ll be seeing baby tomorrow. But when I think of the process I have to go through tomorrow, I feel scared for me and for baby. The tests, the anesthesia, the feeling of numbness, the chilly feeling while being operated, the punch-like pressure once my OB pulls out baby, and everything. But I know that I have no choice but the experience them again.

I am also worried about my blood pressure. I prayed really hard so that I will not experience pre-eclampsia this time. I am hoping that I will not, even postpartum.

One of the reasons why I wanted to give birth soon is the chance of undergoing labor since I’ve been experiencing regular contractions since Monday (today is Wednesday). I am actually open to giving birth naturally but afraid that my BP will shoot up. So just to ensure our safety, I want to give birth tomorrow.

I am also having mixed feelings on breastfeeding my baby. I am sure that I want to do it but I hope we will not encounter problems such as Covid or any other problems that cam affect or disrupt our journey. I am willing to have sleepless nights again (as my husband cannot feed her obviously). And I am willing to pump milk while away.

But now, she is still very active not knowing that she will be out tomorrow morning.

Jitters? Yeah, maybe this is what I am feeling right now. But I am still excited, really excited to see my daughter.

By the way, tomorrow is the Feast Day of St. Pedro Calungsod.

St. Pedro Calungsod, young migrant, student, catechist, missionary, faithful friend, martyr, you inspire us by your fidelity in times of adversity, by your courage in teaching the faith in the midst of hostility, and by your love in shedding your blood for the sake of the gospel. Make our troubles your own (Here mention your request), and intercede for us before the throne of mercy and grace so that as we experience the help of heaven we may be encouraged to proclaim and live the gospel here on earth. Amen.